I raced last weekend. I fun race. A race where my only intent was to have fun. I ran the Warrior Dash. I had heard about it from my high school runner friend Mike who did the Dash in NY last year. His pictures looked insane and lots of fun. I had it in my list of “must do” races for this year.
When we moved to Horsetown, NY I just assumed that the NY Dash would be the closest. However, the PA Dash looked more interesting and was just as far away. I signed up, hoping others would follow. They didn’t. I was a lone racer on Saturday.
P and I decided to make it a camping weekend with the girls. My sister S and BIL D came with us along with my nieces (14 and 21). The campsite we went to was an hour away from the race site, and that was fine. The campsite itself was really nice. Clean, wooded, quiet, perfect for us and our first time campers: K and L.
We got to the campsite around 5:30-6:00pm. I had wanted to get there earlier but we just had so much to pack up and prepare it just wasn’t in the cards. We set up camp, P and D went and got firewood. I don’t think the girls ate dinner until 9pm. Me and the girls were in bed by 10pm, we had to be up at 5:30am to get to my 8am wave on time, I wanted to get to the race site by 7am, factor in the travel time… we had to leave by 6am.
As with all things kid related this is not how it worked out. I don’ think we were on the road moving towards the race site until 6:30! I was freaking out on the inside. I didn’t hide it very well, but if there is one thing I hate is ‘just’ getting to the race site on time. As we got closer I kept checking my watch. We were 5 miles away and my watch read 7:35. Ugh.
We got to the parking lot, I jumped out and ran toward the busses that would take me to the race site. I had my license and my waiver that’s it, that’s all I needed. I got into the bus that was next to leave (so not my style, the normal Heather would have gotten on the second to leave because surely the first one was full if people weren’t loading into it right?), got a seat right in front and checked my watch: 7:50. Grandma Jane drove 10mph the entire 3 miles, I leaped off the bus once on site: 7:55. I ran to packet pick up, checked my warrior stuff, threw my chip on my laces and ran for the start line: 7:59… phew, made it!
Little did I know that being on time was not a requirement. Nor is being in the correct wave. I totally could have gotten in the next wave and nobody would have cared. Oh well, I got in the middle of the pack and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
We started late, around 8:10. Again, had I known I would not have been a total basket case running to get to the start line… oh well, warm up. With a poof of flames at the starting line we were off!
To a very slow start. I was ready to rock it, and got into the slow crowd. We were basically jogging up to the first ‘obstacle’: The Castle. Lamest obstacle ever. We walked through the castle, that’s it, that’s the obstacle. Boo. We were forced to walk due to the bottle neck of so many people getting there at once. Now, here’s where I gripe about the waves. Had they actually forced people to stay in their wave times, I doubt there would have been a bottleneck. In fact most of the obstacles would have gone much smoother if the wave times were enforced.
Moving on, we ran for a bit through mud, forest (sticks, ferns, rocks, etc), and came to the next obstacle: Blackout. It was a grid of 2×4′s about 2-ft off the ground with a black tarp on top. Normally, it would just be the darkness that might be ‘worrisome’ to folks. This particular day? The tarp was weighted down with water from rain the night before and early morning. So, once under you had to dip down a little further to get under the water laden tarp. Still, not a problem really. The biggest obstacle here was keeping your knees and shins intact as you traversed over sticks and roots, rocks and dirt. Once through we were off through some more grass and mud.
We then came to our next obstacle: Planks. It was a plank up with rungs, then down, then across on a thin plank, up the other side on another plank and then straight down from there. Honestly, this one wasn’t so bad either. It was purely mental. Each plank had rungs about 3 feet apart so you had somewhere to put your hands. I walked up it while grabbing the board with hands. Once on the top I brought my feet and legs forward and did a ‘scooch’ down to the horizontal plank. Here’s where the mental part comes in, we were 8-ft (?) off the ground. If you looked down you saw rocks and grass. One slip off that horizontal beam and it could be nothing or you could knock yourself out on the rock or break a bone with the fall. I took 3 fast steps across and traversed up and down the other side in the same fashion as how I got up there. Easy.
More running and hit the next obstacle: Barricade Breakdown. 5’6″ walls to hurl yourself over then hurl yourself under the 2 foot obstacle on the other side: repeat 4 times. When I saw it I knew how to tackle it: pretend I was mounting a horse. It’s the same manuever, without the stirrup. This worked great until wall number 4. My arms were pretty tired, I stepped to the side to let others pass and caught my breath, and then leaped the next two and I was off. Proud of myself for getting those f-ers out-of-the-way.
Then the real ‘trail’ experience. I use the term trail loosely. It was a trail, but very rustic. No mulch here. It was rocks and branches and fallen trees. I was leaping over the trees and avoiding major ruts from water and jumping and going over rocks as best I could. I won’t lie, this took a lot out of me. I’m used to running smooth roads, trail runners have a definite advantage on this course. Still, I passed people, I hurled myself forward trying not to think about my ankles (under rough conditions it’s my ankles that fair the worst).
After what seemed like an eternity running through this forest we came to the next obstacle: Pond Walk (that’s what I’m calling it, some of these obstacles don’t match up with the website and the order def. doesn’t). Basically we got off the trail and into the edge of the pond, waist deep in the water. I’m not afraid of water (obviously) but I am afraid of certain animals IN the water: snakes mostly. I did my best to forget about what I could be sharing the water with and possibly pissing off by invading its home and just trudged through. Got to where we picked the trail back up and off we went. I will mention that water was cool but not cold. It was a welcome cleaning off and soothed my aching ankles.
Ran some more through the woods, again, passed a lot of people and also got passed by plenty more only to have these folks slow down to a WALK a mere 100-ft in front of me and then I was passing them. Kind of annoying at best, dangerous at worst. It wasn’t always easy to pass people. There were some folks who pull over and let you pass, that was cool, I did that a few times myself. Mostly? It spurred me on to run harder.
Next up: Rio Run. You run down a creek. This one made me more nervous than any other obstacle. Only because the water was muddy so you couldn’t see the algae covered rocks, and the water was ice cold causing my feet and ankles to go numb. It would vary in depth as well, at one point it was up to my waist when we had to go over a fallen tree. Funny story here, 2 people could go over the tree, it was about 3-in in diameter. The guy before me pushed the tree down to get over it, got over it and let go, causing the guy who was just going over it to get a severe whack to balls. He exclaimed, “Thanks DUDE!” in pure sarcasm. To which ball smasher replied, “Sorry bro!” and took off. I made it up and over without incident.
The next obstacle was a 25-ft wall (heights are totally approximate, let’s just say it was f-ing high, ‘kay?). You climbed up using a rope with knots and putting your feet on the wall and there were wood ledges that stuck out to lean your feet on. On the other side was another rope to repel down with. I grabbed the rope, got my feet on the first rung, went to pull myself up, and just said… hell no. There were a few things here: my shoes were totally slippery from the algae, wet, and mud. I didn’t want to get to the top only to freak the fuck out and not be able to get down (I was hearing things on the other side of the wall like, ‘leap of faith’ and ‘the ledge is right.there’) OR I would get up there and fall and break something. This race was all about fun, I didn’t want to ruin my whole season by injuring myself for a fun race, know what I mean? I looked at the Dash employee and asked if I would be disqualified for not completing an obstacle. His response, “Nope, not a problem”. So, I went around. I was slightly upset with myself for not completing it, but only slightly.
More running through the trees and we got to: Tunnels of Terror. Again, not so bad. The tunnels got smaller as we went on, so that was a bit of a challenge. The second to last one had some funky smell nearby. The training that helped the most with that obstacle? Changing diapers, the smell stunk to me but didn’t bother me. The girl ahead of me? retching. Chalk one up to being a mom!
Quick jaunt through the woods and we came to the clearing where the end of the race obstacles were. The first was the rope climb:
This was, by far, my favorite obstacle. It’s just like the ones on the playground but for adults. Super fun, I can’t say enough about how much fun it was for me. Loved every second.
After that were the tires and then the Junkyard Stomp and more tires after:
This one was fun too, just pure silliness. I felt like a jackass going through the tires, there’s no graceful way of getting through them. Running on top of cars? Stuff of childhood and teenage dreams. I was on top of the van (second vehicle from picture right). It was a bit higher than the others but loved jumping off.
Next came the wall of flames. Two lines of fire that you had to jump over. I was not worried, I knew I could clear it. I did have a fleeting thought that I would be the dumbass to trip and fall INTO the wall of fire. No need to worry, up and over with no issues 
Right after the walls of flames was the mother of all obstacles, the one where you HAD to get dirty:
The mud pit. Oh, this was fun too! Between the two red and black flagged lines is barbed wire. You HAD to get down and dirty on this obstacle. When I first walked in, I was easily thigh deep in mud. I didn’t want to lose a shoe, I saw the girl ahead of me dive in, and I said: screw it! I got down on all fours and started crawling. I would have loved this obstacle more if there hadn’t been so many stones and gravel, my knees and shins were really yelling at me through the mud. When I climbed out of the mud pit, my first thought was: OMG, mud is HEAVY. It really was, it was like running with concrete all over your body. I got to the finish, and I got my medal!!
This is me, P, and K after the race. I plan on buying some of the pro shots that were taken, they have some great finish line, mud, and fire shots. If you know me, email me, and I’ll send you the link to see them.
Up next was the hidden obstacle: getting hosed off with a water truck (fire hydrant like pressure). Here I am coming back from hosing off, I got my front clean, that’s about it:
Here I am showing K how to dash:
Afterwards I picked up my stuff from bag check, used my timer chip to get a free beer and we went back to the campsite. My shower back at the campsite? The greatness rivals the greatness of the first post-birth shower after having K and then L. It felt SO GOOD to get clean. I left a mud ring in the shower…
Two things: L wouldn’t even look at me when I was covered in mud. When I finally cleaned off she wanted me to hold her but I was soaking wet so I couldn’t. My heart ached a little that I couldn’t hold her.
K was very curious about the mud. She would dip her finger into the mud on my arm, look at the mud, and then wipe it on P’s shirt 
Anybody who is active should try to get this race under their belt. The atmosphere, the camaraderie of the racers, the obstacles all make this a VERY fun race. Even though I didn’t race with anybody, I never felt alone. The only time I felt that racing with someone would have made it better is at the rope climbing wall. I might have pushed myself to try if I had someone there to cheer me on and get me going. I am a little upset that nobody did this with me. However, I’m over it now, I’m glad I raced anyway. I did feel like a bit of a loser at times when I saw large groups of friends doing the obstacles together, or post race when friends would pose for pictures together. No matter, next year YOU’RE doing it with me…. right?
so I picked it up, she slowed a bit, and we crossed the finish line together. Our last mile? At a 9:02 pace. For a MILE I ran a 9.02 minute mile pace. That is just beyond amazing to me.
They slept like that for an hour and a half, woke up rested and ready for the afternoon. Days like yesterday, I’m so thankful that we are able to have one of us* home with them. To allow for these moments.
