Expectations and Nap Time

The expectations part of this post have nothing to do with the nap time portion, surprisingly.

Expectations

I have always had high expectations for myself. Most of the time, I don’t meet them and find myself upset with myself for not meeting these expectations and goals. It was of course a way for me to feel miserable about my life. A way for me to consistently have a problem. In short, I hated being miserable but apparently liked having something to be miserable about. It was a round robin of self-esteem bashing that perpetuated my horrible self-image.

Since having children, I have allowed myself to lower the expectations a bit. Perfection is not necessary. Some days, just getting through the day is an achievement. I am trying to get to the point where I can set achievable goals. Goals that will not force me to work so hard that I don’t see my family or force me to give up something that I like.

Participating in races has helped me tremendously with this effort. In the beginning the standard goal was: I just want to finish. Then I morphed that into: I want to finish and run the whole time. I still don’t put any serious time expectations on myself, perhaps that will come later. Or not. However, when I finished the Mountain Goat run on May 1st (I have a post in draft, I want to include pictures of that event and keep forgetting them, it’s coming, I promise) I was disappointed. I trained for the event, I thought I was ready. It was hot the day of the race, the hills were more steep than I had figured, my heart rate was through the roof: I had to walk. I felt really defeated. I hadn’t set any other goals for that race other than: Finish and Don’t Walk. Common sense prevailed and I walked when I saw my heart rate climb to a scary high number. I did finish, I just didn’t finish like I wanted. Now that I’ve had a couple of weeks to think about it, sit with it, I’m no longer disappointed. I’m proud. I did a 10 MILE race, on HILLS, through Hometown NY. I mean, who does that? I’m proud of where I have taken my fitness level. I’m so thankful that I have the ability to push my body to extend my limits.

With each race, successful day at work, my expectations for my body, my mind, my life are becoming more achievable. More rational. I am finding motivation in the success that I allow myself to have. It’s still a work in progress, there are things that I wish I could do but time is a factor. I’m pushing myself to do 2 sprint triathlons this season and a half marathon in the fall. THAT is a goal I can accomplish. With this new job, new location, I can have time with my family too.

Nap Time

Apparently nap time is getting better at the house of P and Heather. K takes a nap quite often and L goes down pretty easily as well. Yesterday they were getting settled in for nap as they usually do: with books. P usually reads to the girls and then puts L in her crib and K gets in her bed both with books in tow and they read until they fall asleep. Yesterday was no different except K allowed L on her bed to read with her. I think the following, heart melting, pictures speak  for themselves:

They slept like that for an hour and a half, woke up rested and ready for the afternoon. Days like yesterday, I’m so thankful that we are able to have one of us* home with them. To allow for these moments.

*Also thankful that currently that is P

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3 responses to this post.

  1. That sounds almost exactly like me. I started doing 5ks about 6 months after my son was born and try to do them twice a month., running the whole time 🙂

    Those are some of the sweetest pictures I’ve seen. My son occasionally boycotts naps, especially since I recently returned back to work. Luckily, his grandparents are able to watch him while me and the husband are working.

    Reply

  2. I’m not certain that Expectations have nothing to do with Nap Time. Because you and P are being more flexible, both with expectations with yourself AND your kids. Just like you walked in your Mountain Goat, your girls got to sleep together. Both unexpected but very good. 🙂

    Like I’ve said before, I’m thrilled to hear you so HAPPY. You are my inspiration, you know. To find that happiness myself. Because I know it’s there, I just need to look for it.

    xoxo

    Reply

  3. The last picture is too cute! And I love that you guys have Daisy the RV too. A favorite toy here.

    Reply

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