For Serenity

Hey Serenity, this is for you to look back on as you’re going through your final cycle:

Beginning (before the madness of a cycle really starts):
Waking up after a bad night, seeing the sun and realizing that things are going to be good. Better even.

1st stage (stimms):
The time in the evening when you are getting ready for the party. You dress cool (slutty, but not to slutty). You have fantasies of how awesome it’s going to be. You think about how much fun you are going to have
(this is it! You could get pg, you may have the perfect follicle count, your lining will look great, this is going to WORK)

2nd stage(post-retrieval/IUI trigger):       
It’s not turning out exactly as planned. But the guy you want to hang out with is at the party, but the annoying friend you didn’t want to come did and she. won’t. leave. you. alone. To go talk to Mr. Awesome
(OK, so there weren’t as many follicles as anticipated/there’s only one lead follicle. But there’s a chance! This could work!)

3rd stage(post transfer/IUI):                       
This night sucked. Didn’t even talk to Mr. Awesome. Lame friend is puking in the bushes and killing your buzz. You got beer on your cool/slutty top, and you realized that tomorrow you have a final.
(Well now it’s done. There’s nothing to do but wait).

4th stage(2WW):                                              
OMG, is this night going to END? While friend is puking you have a few more beers with Mr. Right Now. You tell friend to sleep it off, you go with Mr. RN and make out. It’s ok, but you’re really thinking about Mr. Awesome and… Oh shit. I dropped my car keys. Now we have to walk home. Mr. RN says he wants you to stay “the night” and you want to throw up now. You wake up Puking Friend and start the long walk home. In the cold (did I mention it’s October?), with this stupid top on that now screams, “HEY, DRUNK GIRL HERE! Come and r*ape me!). Your feet hurt, your friend won’t walk, she starts crying because you’re getting angry that she isn’t walking. Buzz is gone, Mr. Awesome will find out about Mr. RN and be repulsed (hey you kind of are).
(You’re crazy, you hate this, you are never cycling again).

5th stage (waiting for beta results):          
You’re home. Friend is passed out. You can ‘t sleep. All you can do is recount EVERY moment you and Mr. Awesome spoke or looked at each other and how you could have turned that into something and didn’t.
(It worked, it didn’t work, I should have done x, y, and z. Just CALL ALREADY) 

6th stage (results in BFN):                             
Woke up realizing you made out with Mr. RN. Ick.
(Life sucks)
(recycle to beginning)

6th stage (results in BFP):                             
He called! Mr. Awesome does like me! Now hopefully our first date goes well…
(YAY! Hope to see a hb!)

That’s how I saw every cycle. Here’s hoping that you won’t have to relive this bad night again.

One response to this post.

  1. Aw, thanks!!! I thought this was laugh out loud funny. 🙂


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