Moving on/up/and away

Sorry for the silence. There has just been so much going on, very little time to update.

We moved. I was (still am really) sad to leave. It really didn’t hit me until the night before the actual move. We were leaving. Gone. Not coming back, except to clean a little and then on closing day. The memories I have of that house will always be with me: coming home with K and then L, Pazzo and then Meiko passing away, the passing of ‘first baby’ at 9w. It’s hard to leave the physical. I fear the memories will fade. The fact that I won’t have the walls to remind me of when I would nurse the girls’

to sleep and look around the room. The awesome media room that P built in the basement. The reminder of being pregnant with L while he was finishing and watching K ‘help’ daddy out as he put the walls up. There are just SO MANY memories in that house. It’s like saying goodbye to a dear old friend. It’s also like saying goodbye…

to a dream, an ideal, a way of life.
When we moved into the house we had great hopes and dreams of our life in that house. We would start our family and stay there for 5-8 years and then move to a single family home, hopefully closer to my work. We had plans is what I’m trying to say. NONE of them included me losing my job, P getting hurt, P losing his job. Us essentially having to rethink and bag our dreams. There was always a chance we would move back to NY. That was always in the back of our minds. However, a move back would have been OUR decision, our re-route plan. Not because we HAD to move in order to, you know, eat. It angers me more than anything else. I’m trying to get over it, but when I think of what could have been? Well, it just irritates me. Of course my ‘could have been’ is the ideal not the reality. I mean who knows how things would have panned out had I not lost my job.

Life in Horsetown, NY is actually not that bad (read: very good). My commute, is about 20 minutes. Compare that to a 20 minute commute just to get on the freaking highway in Salem. I park in a garage, with a paid monthly pass. Yes, that’s right, I don’t pay a dime for parking. I have a great work station here in the office. I won’t get into how awesome New Company is, that’s a separate post (also, they aren’t all fantastic, the honeymoon period is almost over). Life here has been, in a word: Easier. It’s easy to go from one place to another, there’s no traffic, no crazy amount of people Come spring, summer, and fall? We have a multitude of parks and hiking trails. We are 2 hours from the cities where we have family. There are small ski hills in the area. When the girls get old enough, we will be out there in the winter. Things, on average, are less expensive (except for gas, holy crap! It’s easily 50 cents more a gallon).

Our apartment has turned out to be a really good move. We had such a hard time finding a place, it gave me more headaches than I would like to remember. We took this place because the other, less expensive one, was already taken. We really chose this place because we had to, of which I was not very excited. Now? I love it. I love our apartment. It’s large for an apartment, so we aren’t right on top of each other. We have laundry in the unit, right near our kitchen. That alone is fabulous. The girls’ LOVE their room. Most of their toys are in there. K has a twin mattress and box spring. She was sleeping on a queen size bed at the house. P and I had our suspicions that it was to big, too muchroom for her. We were totally right. Other than the first week? She has not come into our bed. It could have been the queen size bed, the high ceilings, a sparsely furnished room (their room was really large in the house) or a combo of all three that caused some distress to K. The other good news? They sleep until 6:30-7:00am almost EVERY morning. This is huge, HUGE. They were getting up at 5:30 most mornings. They are both so completely excited that they can go in their room and get toys, or they can play in their room. They love being close to us when they go to bed. K falls asleep within 15 minutes. In a word? I love how great they are doing with everything. They seem to really like our new apartment. In fact K tells me all the time, “Mommy? I LOVE the apartment!”.

The transition of me being home to P being home has gone very well.I think it helped that I was at the home office of New Job for Monday and Tuesday. Which meant that P was on his own for those two days and nights. K couldn’t just ‘wait for mommy to come home’ because I wasn’t coming home that evening. When I did get home and start the regular work day, they were so excited that I was home. No tears were shed when I left. L in fact gave me a, “bye-bye mommy” when I left. When I get home and I make sure not to be to critical of P. It’s hard being home with them full-time. I will be honest. I wish I could say that I cried when I left them that first real day back. I wish I could say that I missed them terribly. However, I can’t. I was so ready to get back to work. To have my own time again. To have ME again. There were aspects of our days together that I did miss. Putting L down for nap. Doing projects with K. Watching a movie with them. I love what I have now with them. Time to talk about our day, enjoying them more, having more patience because I wasn’t around them Also, P is a super SAHD. He really rocks. He has more patience than me most of the time. He is more creative with finding things to do. He’ll make up games to play with K where L can follow along. They have already had a bad day, but it happens. We move on.

I have also found out I can swim at the local high school pool. So, I can still swim, run, and bike. I have big plans for this season. More on that some other time.


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