Processing

I appreciate the comments on my last post. I think YYM hit on something though- self confidence. I do not have a lot. It’s something I have struggled with all my life. I doubt myself at every turn. Getting laid off only highlighted my insecurities about my ability to do quality work.

Being a SAHM I only have even more to be insecure about. I just feel like people are questioning and scrutinizing my decisions in regards to my children. Which, may or may not be true. I think in some instances people are judging my choices based on their own insecurities. Still, it bothers me. I feel like I have to go into these lengthy explanations for my own choices.

Not to mention that there is a part of me that misses daily interaction with adults. Without children around. I miss discussions about things other than snacks, Dora the Explor*er, and diaper changes. I watch other mom’s at the Y meet up with other SAHM’s. They seem to know each other from high school or college. I’m jealous of the relationships they have and that their kids have with each other. I don’t, and probably won’t, have that.

So I find myself once again feeling left out and caring that I’m left out. While at the same time happy to not have to worry about pleasing others.

*sigh*

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2 responses to this post.

  1. What’s even harder about those groups of moms is not only have they started their relationships before you joined the club, but most likely their intent is to stay in that club, to stay SAHMs.

    When people ask what I do, I tell them I’m unemployed. Oh! Staying with the kids. That’s nice!

    Yeah. Nice. So I wonder how they’d feel if I said, I can’t wait to get back to work??

    Reply

  2. A lot of my friends with little ones have mentioned how it is to have everyone telling them what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. I can’t imagine how stressful it must be to feel like you’re constantly under the microscope. Just have faith that you are doing a great job. 🙂

    The confidence issue is so difficult to deal with. I’m really pushing myself to believe that I *can* do things. With my photography and riding, that’s been especially difficult even with all the positive feedback! It’s so funny how we think of ourselves even in the face of evidence to the contrary!

    Reply

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