Other Parents

For the most part the kids that K has been friends with have great parents. People, that I like and that parent very similarly to me and P. I mean, that’s only natural at right. I mean our friends are our friends for a reason. The little girl who K became friends with at school she became friends with because she is a lot like K.

Anyway, there have been times when K was physically hurt by another child. It happens. I don’t really blame the parents unless it becomes a serious pattern. At any rate, kids have their own ideas, they are not robots to act exactly as we want them. Thank goodness.

I am not a judgemental parent. In my opinion, whatever works for you and your family is fine. How can I possibly judge how  you parent your child, I’m not there. For all I know your child is the demon spawn at home and when they act like a little sh!t in public it’s an improvement. Or the flip side, they are an angel at home and hellion out in public. Whatever, it is, it is NOT my place to say what is right or wrong (unless I see outright beating occur). In other words, I’m a very liberal, tolerant, other mom.

If a child hurts K, I try to assess the situation with some degree of objectivity. I try to see the angles. My daughter is not perfect. She has and will do things to get what she wants, sometimes by any means necessary. So, you know, I have to take the ‘special snowflake’ blinders off and try to see how things may really have occurred. With the physical stuff, it’s usually pretty easy. Even then, it’s hard to not let the mama bear in me come out.

I realized something else, the mama bear will come out A LOT faster when I think K is being bullied. Perhaps it’s because I was bullied as a kid. Perhaps it’s because it comes out of nowhere. Either way, I witnessed it happening to her this past weekend. It really took me aback and made me pause like no other time when I K had an altercation with another child.

I won’t go into specifics, I’ve vented to a few key people about the issues that occurred and I think I’ve gotten it out of my system. However, the bigger issue is what do you do when  you 100% totally disagree with the parenting style that a FAMILY member has? Where cousins, second cousins, nieces, or nephews are the bullies. They are the way they are because of the way they are being treated by their parents. I mean, I don’t want to purposely put K in situations where she will get hurt. When its friends, at this age, it’s easy. Just don’t allow play dates or only when there are more than the two kids. With family it is a lot harder.

I’m glad that P and I are on the same page with this issue. There are harder lessons that I need to teach K. How to stick up for herself when it comes to bullies, how to handle a situation when bullying occurs. These are issues I just didn’t want to have to tackle so early in her little life. I wanted to shield her from all bad people for a little while longer…

Yes, an incident occurred this past weekend. I may password protect the post or may send it off to inlawssuck. We’ll see.


2 responses to this post.

  1. If you come up with a solution to how to shield your child from the (mis)behavior and bullying of a cousin or other family member’s child, PLEASE tell me. I do my best to step in (or not) and have found that I just end up uncomfortable and ineffective in protecting Grace. :-/


  2. You could always submit anonymously for inlawssuck and then link to it form here under a password…

    In one way it might be easier dealing with a family member because the worst that can happen is they will avoid you in future gatherings. Non-family members it’s almost impossible to tell them that you don’t like their parenting style or even to make suggestions (the positive approach).

    In the end, the best thing to do is use this time not to try to change someone else, but to use the incident as a teaching moment for K; that some kids don’t know the best way to act and to lead by example. It’s hard to do for someone little, but they’ll get it.


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