Do Happy People Blog?

Do they?
When I started this blog I was at the end of the "trying on our own" stage after our miscarriage. I was at me wits end with ttc. I was going back to see Superdoc to see if we could start up IUI treatments once more. I was very unhappy to put it mildly. I was depressed about not getting my period, I was depressed about the miscarriage (still), I was depressed about not being able to get pregnant on our own after so many reassurances ("now that your body has been pregnant it will know what to do"). So, while I still had my awesome support group online I needed more. I needed an outlet to pour out my thoughts and feelings. Basically, I needed a place to feel selfish and only talk about me without feeling guilty. It worked. I found myself writing everyday about how I was feeling and what my thoughts were. I found a group of people that I could identify with, infertility bloggers. I liked the sense of community that I found here, I still do.
However, I'm feeling that I know longer fit in. I have overcome that part of my life. I am no longer so depressed or unhappy. I am no longer ttc my first child. I still read all the same blogs that I did before. However, I feel at a loss for words. How many times can I say the following:
Good Luck
I'm hoping this is it for you
I'm thinking of you
Hang in there
Big hugs to you from me-
Without sounding cliché and trite. I really do mean all those things but I have nothing else to contribute. I whole heartedly support them and wish them nothing but the best and to become pregnant. However, I can no longer say that I am going through the same thing. I do remember the feeling of the horrible 2ww. I do remember the feeling of emptiness after a bfn. However, remembering those feelings is like remembering when you broke your arm as a kid. I remember it hurt, but I don't remember the actual hurt of it. Does this make sense? At any rate, I find myself commenting less and less on these blogs. Or, if I do comment it is on a post completely non-ttc related. I'm finding that I am a blogger who has sort of lost her community. It was simple in the beginning, I was an infertility blogger. I don't really want to join the mommy community either because I'm more than that too. I didn't get pregnant just by looking at my husband and I have a hard time reading the blogs of women who did. For the most part the blogs I read on a daily basis are mommies of infertility babies. Even then though I struggle to read through all of their posts.
I love my daughter. I love every minute of her, even when she is crying and "fussy". I can't imagine my life without her. Am I happy? I will say, Yes. I am happy. Do I have problems? Sure. Do I hate my body/hair/clothes? Sure, sometimes. Do I loathe my job? A little. However, for the most part I am happy with where my life is right now. J and I have finally achieved or status as parents to a beautiful little girl, we are both healthy, and we are financially working things out (no debt except a mortgage, but can't we all use more money?).
So, I find myself with little to blog about except little Kirsten's exploits, which right now are not that exciting. I can sit here and tell all sorts of stories and anecdotes about her but really how good is that to read? I think me and maybe J are the only ones who really find it interesting. Plus, this is not what I wanted this blog to become. When I became pregnant I had envisioned me writing all sorts of OTHER stuff here. However, that other stuff really doesn't seem all that important right now. Maybe when little bean sprout grows up it will be different. I don't know.
I am not going to stop blogging. I think it is an important outlet. However, I'm finding that I no longer feel the need to blog everyday or even every week. I don't know I'm kind of thinking it all out as I type.

3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Christiana on April 2, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    Heather – I love hearing your thoughts on being a new mom, after infertility or otherwise. I’ve been trying (at DH’s request) to read more of the infertility success stories so I don’t get so depressed and worked up about ttc.

    However, I do think happy people blog. Probably not about ttc, but they do blog. I was introduced to the blogosphere by happy blogs, so I know they are out there.

    Thanks for keeping on keeping on. And don’t give up.


  2. Posted by serenity on April 2, 2007 at 5:57 pm

    I’ve said this before on your blog, I think…

    I like reading you because you give me hope. I like seeing that you’ve come out of the IF darkness into the light and finally have your beautiful wonderful daughter. And I read every day, even if I don’t comment sometimes.

    For someone like me – still in the trenches of IF, wondering if it’ll ever be me – it gives me something to hope for.

    BUT – to christiana’s comment – I also do think that happy people blog.

    I lok forward to reading about what being a new mom, balancing being a mom, wife, and career woman is like.



  3. Posted by DD on April 3, 2007 at 4:14 am

    Happy people blog. Sometimes they even blog about sad things.

    Sad people blog. Sometimes they even blog about happy things.

    Blogging can be therapeutic; it can be documentary; it can be nothing but fluff. But no matter what a blog is, it should always be flexible to meet what you want from it, even if that means writing once a month…or even less.

    You aren’t blogging to please us. You should be blogging to please you. I don’t want to ever think that you missed out on any moment with Kirsten b/c you were blogging.

    I hope you find the balance to stay.


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